I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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