I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
