its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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