the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
