butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
