Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Vodka?
Forever.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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