Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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