just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Randomize
