I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
