just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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