Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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