Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
