I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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