Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
