Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
