i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
