we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize