Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
