I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
