shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
