saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
