Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
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