life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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