The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize