I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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