You just made me feel so damn special
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
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I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
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Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
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