So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
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Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
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Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sext me about skeletons
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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