College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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