I could make wine with my vomit
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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