no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
