dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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