I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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