I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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