Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
