why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
