so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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