I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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