She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
