now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
