She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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