Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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