I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
