Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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