Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize