Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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