i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
