Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
