when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
