do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
