Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
