your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
