So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She's the barista slut.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
