I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
