Rock
Scissors
Fuck
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
