i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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