she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize