hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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