I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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