He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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