i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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