The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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