guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
