I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
