Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
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Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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