I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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